What you like or what others like

I just msn with my brother and i was complaining him why always forgot to wish me happy birthday (my birthday just passed 2 days ago). He told me he don't really wish ppl birthday nowadays. Haih....

Sometimes i really wonder how ppl think. Of cuz i don't headcount who had wished me birthday and request all my friends to do this, but you will just automatically take note those whom you really mind, closer.. those have some "places" in your heart. If this is my birthday & I really hope to have your wish, why can't you just give your wish? This is my birthday, not yours.

If you care enough for that person, you should not think what you want or like. You should think from her angle. During mum's hospitalization, sitting there & said i was here to take care of her definitely is not good enough. Think from her angle... what did she want? Stomach bloating, then should rub her stomach try to let her pee or shit; lying on bed so long, then should her some massage; fever & changing the towels, should make sure the towel didn't wet the bed; make sure her head is not bending... & say more encourage words. Don't just say i am not good at doing this, you do better. Very simple, if you were her lying there, what you will want others do for you? Maybe you will say i won't want to rely on or let others suffer with me, but you have to think if you were her... with her character, not yours.

It reminds me.. next tuesday will be my mum's 49th day. My sister always wants to pray on weekends so we always pray earlier. But 49th day is consider a big day, even so she still doesn't want to take leave & her work is only half an hour a day. However she is willing to take leave when her kids sick or have other things to do. Why? cuz her heart is not here. When mum is still alive, she always gives in to my sister. Now even after death, still the same? I really cannot understand is cannot comprehand or being too ignorant. I remember my teacher taught the class "ignorant" & "innocent", she told us innocence is good but when ppl said you are ignorant is not a good thing.

Unexpected out of Expectation

It had been awhile since I last updated my blog. I started to go back to hometown every weekend, worried if my mum had food to eat, accompanied her to hospital for check up and hope I will have chance to see doctor. Her diarrhoea didn't have any improvement. The last time the doctor said most likely she only left 4 month's life & started to have many check ups for further detail. Days after days, still no outcome.

I didn’t even believe what the doctor’s “4 months” talk and thought he must be wrong. Until 1 day before mum passed away, a doctor approached us & told me that most parts of her liver already spoilt and actually now most of the organs were not function, leaving the heart & lung relied on the machine. Speechless.. is the only word I could think of.

Still remember it was end of Aug.... Malaysia National Day, the last weekend before mum hospitalised, mum & I went to shopping centre, and she thought of buying mooncake (her favourite) but I told her it was not good for her health and didn't buy for her. If I knew that was her last chance to eat it, would I do the same?